How to be a School Morning Superhero

I remember loving mornings.

Waking up to quiet, taking a nice long hot shower, putting together a fresh smoothie while I have a chance to do some Bible reading and journaling.  Getting off to work feeling refreshed.  My mind was always more creative and stronger functioning in the morning, so I could be rather productive.

Becoming a parent three years ago to an 8 and 6-year-old (adopted our eldest two from foster care), our mornings took on a new look.

Waking up to screaming or high-pitched squealing, which in turn gets the dogs barking loudly.

It takes both dad and I to get the kids going, he with one kid, the other with me, (and now somehow between the two of us we also manage the baby). Depending on what we have the strength to battle – rude negativity or hyper silliness – we ‘go to town’ getting grump into the shower or wiggly worm dressed, strategically keeping them separated or all gained ground is lost.

We do our best to ignore every wine, grumble and sometimes violent reaction to the thought of school, while somehow finding time to prepare a low carb, high protein breakfast to best support what their ADHD brains need for morning success. (oh, and make sure that our Type 1 Diabetic gets her blood checked and proper insulin dosage injected while battling the terror of needles).

And we hope and pray that getting back into the school routine, not just at home but at school as well, won’t take 3 months.

While school is well underway for most, I have noticed a common thread among other special needs families as our kids are still wrestling with the transition back into school.  It feels like an epic battle each morning and the pleas amongst us parents – save me!

Time to call (or become) a School Morning Superhero!

 

What does a School Morning Superhero look like?

Here are some of the superpower traits:

 

PRECOGNITION

Precognition is the ability to predict the future. With this power, you could be the first to sense peril and save the day by battling ninja distractions, fire-breathing “oh-I-just-remembered…” thoughts, and other pesky villainous hick-ups before their diabolical plans to ruin your mornings take root.

For morning success, predicting the future is all about prepping the night before.

• Clothes picked out and ready to put on
• Lunch made and all set to slide into the backpack
• Backpack and jacket armed and ready

Our night time prep also includes a quick rundown of how the morning will look having our kiddos be the one to share the master plan (or so they think). With short check ins like, “What time are you getting up again?” or “What am I doing while you get dressed?”, we make sure we’ve had a chance to reinforce the expectation, goal and plan while helping them feel masterful in skills and ability.

Visual routine charts are another way of creating an opportunity for smooth flow in the morning, or a visual timer to help keep kids on track.

No matter what method you use to encourage your kid’s ownership of their evening and morning tasks, remember consistency is about having a routine, but feel free to change up the approach if your kids need it.  We have found that once our kids have gotten comfortable with the schedule they tend to push the limits more, so we might switch to a different “delivery” system simply to keep them engaged.

 

INVISIBILITY

With the power of invisibility, you could vanish in the blink of an eye using your mind. You could sneak distractions out of the house without your kids knowing and without getting caught.

Setting up a successful environment for your kids can really benefit de-stressing the start of the day.

This could look like having a “command center” – a common place for shoes, jackets, backpacks, homework, and anything school related.  This can really help your evening prep as well, checking items and “invisibly” supporting the completion of helpful routines.

Part of a successful environment for our son is to have a simple bedroom set up.  Almost anything can distract him and his powerful imagination seems almost uncontrollable coming out of a sleep state.  So, if there is a toy left in sight, a stuffed animal close by, or even a recently drawn battle scene (his favorite thing to color), we are unlikely to get out of the house with clothes on, much less on time for anything.  As a result, his belongings are kept behind doors – and part of his night time tasks are to put everything away.

Invisible hands come in during the evening while he is in the shower to be sure all distractions are set aside.  Often, he will fall asleep listening to an audio story, and once again invisibility superpowers are engaged while he is asleep to collect said radio and help set the stage for a more focused morning.  While we would love for him to be able to manage these distractions himself, for our guy and his delays, morning just isn’t the time of day to expect him to successfully accomplish this undertaking – we save that learning practice for later in the day.

 

FORCE FIELD

Being able to generate a force field is an ideal power to maintain personal strength and protect the ones you love.

Whether you are dealing with distracted silliness or mean verbal assaults, being able to move forward against the onslaught of morning battle tactics while protecting your connection as family is why the ability to create a force field is so valuable.

This isn’t to say that you are allowing rudeness and disobedience to go without consequences, it is more determining that morning may not be the best time to launch a full-on corrective attack.

In our household we know that until our kids get some food in their bellies and their medications kick in, their capacities for rational thought and awareness are functioning at slower speeds so lots of grace is given and with it several “do-over” opportunities.

Consequences are followed through on later in the day when emotions are calmer and access to understanding is stronger.  Adjustments to the schedule are done or given later that night.

Part of the force field can also be “tagging out” when one parent doesn’t feel the most patient, ignoring unhelpful behaviors, and you being the distracting element to steer that in-motion kiddo.

 

TELEPATHY

The power of telepathy to communicate by reading another’s mind is a power that can help you heal all the hurts and fears that come with growing up.

Understanding why something is difficult for someone sure does go along way in calming the moments of our lives.

“Kids do well when they can” is the theme principal of Collaborative Problem Solving, a theory and practice that helps parents identify the lagging skills and needs that predict a child’s negative behavior.  Sometimes the challenging behavior we see in our kids getting back into the school routine – at home and onsite – has a lot more to it than what it looks like on the outside.

When our son was starting first grade we spent the first half of the year battling the going to school thing.  During one temper tantrum and wrestling him dressed, he began yelling, “but I’m good mommy, I’m good.” I just paused and took a big step backward.   After bringing him some water, I started to dress one of his build-a-bears and mentioned that it seems like this school thing is pretty tough.  He started to slowly get dressed as well and we chatted about what he didn’t like about school. I was able to ask him why he had made the earlier comment.

At that time, our son had a 1-on-1 aide due to his delays and challenges.  His social skills are weak, and he has some sensory issues which lead to unique reactions in the classroom.  Due to his tendency to mimic behavior, if someone else presented challenging conduct, it was my son who would be escorted out of the room, trying to prevent an escalated incident.

So, when he cried out, “but I’m good”, together we came to see that the message he was getting almost daily, without anyone saying the words, was that he was bad, “because bad kids get kicked out of the classroom.”

Being able to read the minds of our kids in many ways is like being a detective.

Today is the day of the math test – that might affect our morning.

None of the other kids have an adult with them every moment – that might make our guy not want to go to school.

 

FLIGHT

This is the power every little kid dreams of having. If you could fly, this imaginary world of wonderful mornings might become a reality.

The superpower of flight is just pure FUN!

Whether it’s a goofy song you sing, a friendly competition of who can get dressed first, or pictures made with the breakfast food – adding some fun to your mornings can help you see the big picture – that this family is COOL!

 

What’s your parenting super power?